This Amazing Digital Artifact
    Just a little gap in posting over two years now and what an amazing trip those years have been. Now after getting Medicare health coverage in March of 14 I have been able to pursue wellness again and have worked along with many Doc's to have some relief from the chronic conditions that lead to my unhealthy life and firing from a broadcast TV station where I worked for 27 years.
     I am surprised this Blog is still here, waiting for me. I will recount some diary entries from my dark period from September 2011 to receiving my Social Security benefits in '14 And some thoughts and ideas from the recovery period. Just reporting the facts and perhaps my opinion of many mistakes.
- posted by Jamie Cowen @ 3:16 PM 0 comments

 
NOW HERE!
Life teaches lessons yea yea OK. I just told a friend and former coworker something that just fell out of my mouth. Knowing he is a devout Catholic.
I said. " You don't understand the words 'walk through the valley of the shadow of death' until you do."
 As you may have read here. I did. Said that Psalm over and over for many years did not even see where I was when I was in that valley.

Now, I am OUT. The Social Security system moved my retirement just a little sooner. After 40 years of working 1,2, and sometimes three jobs at a time plus freelancing all through it. I now have what I earned. Along with Medicare I am truly a survivor. When I got to see my beloved Doc of many years again. All I could do was hug him and weep in the exam room.




- posted by Jamie Cowen @ 6:27 PM 0 comments

 
Whimsey

                                                                 Sometimes you have to look down to look up!
- posted by Jamie Cowen @ 6:10 PM 0 comments

 
Why I Do Not Miss Working In TV News
Covering local news requires that one does not reveal or discuss their political beliefs and many other things. Certainly not participate in ANY political activity.

Striving daily for two constitutional issues. The public's right to know and equally their right to privacy. Every News Photographer whether stills or motion pictures walks this razors edge. I now walk with the aid of a cane recovering from thousands of cuts.

                                                          OK satire is not my forte looking back is.


- posted by Jamie Cowen @ 3:08 PM 0 comments

 
SENIOR

This is my recent "selfie" taken without looking through a viewfinder. For a photographer this is really disconcerting. Yes, that is why there is a tree growing out of my head but I liked the setting sunlight under my cap.

I spend a couple of days a week here as DIY therapy by reconnecting with humanity. A long time ago I learned that listening is the greatest gift you can give someone I give here freely. It is kind of like reading an encyclopedia cover to cover. Every once in a while there is something you don't want to read but you do any way.

I want to eventually volunteer here filling, partially my need to give back.
- posted by Jamie Cowen @ 1:20 PM 0 comments

 
Fear

Anticipation the most important tool in every News Photographers bag.  To know where to go where to stand what person might show emotion.When you work as one for as long as I did. That well honed skill becomes mixed up with countless memories of disaster, death, anguish, pain, and sadness. All I have now are haunting memories and no Health Insurance. Sure there are memories of  happy stories I try to focus on but that requires work. Meditation helps a head doc certainly would. PTSD? I know I cannot diagnose myself but after reading the symptoms it sure seems possible. I flunked a recruitment physical in 1972 by one tenth of a diopiter of eyeglass correction or I would have gone to the VA a long time ago.
- posted by Jamie Cowen @ 4:07 PM 0 comments

 
SELF IMAGE
Forced retirement in August 2011 after 23 years, in my most recent job, as a television photojournalist took it's toll. The nearly 2.5 years since have been the most challenging in 61 years of life lived.  Sliding into a hole I haven't yet made it out of.

In debt, broke, hungry, profoundly depressed, nearly homeless, suicidal, and finally disabled. Turning away from the world I was unable to hold any job . Occasionally finding clarity with the help of the AA, beloved neighbors and hundreds of kind people donating to to my cause.

Standing on a street corner holding a piece of cardboard hand lettered with PLEASE HELP is profoundly humbling. Fewer donors would park their car to talk to me. Telling them my saga lifted my ego, a small step out of the hole. Some offered a pat on the back or even a hug of my smelly self, a larger step. They knew what I really needed more than $. Their empathy gave me hope. Along with listening that was the greatest gift they gave me.

After slowly working on many financial, housing, mental, and physical problems. I'm stemming the slide by packing my ancient laptop to a WiFi connection to find my real FB friends. Finding amazingly cheap way to have a cell phone again. Finally accepting help where ever it is offered the most difficult step for me.

The next time you see some one holding a hand lettered piece of card board talk to them and listen.
- posted by Jamie Cowen @ 1:10 PM 0 comments