SELF IMAGE
Forced retirement in August 2011 after 23 years, in my most recent job, as a television photojournalist took it's toll. The nearly 2.5 years since have been the most challenging in 61 years of life lived.  Sliding into a hole I haven't yet made it out of.

In debt, broke, hungry, profoundly depressed, nearly homeless, suicidal, and finally disabled. Turning away from the world I was unable to hold any job . Occasionally finding clarity with the help of the AA, beloved neighbors and hundreds of kind people donating to to my cause.

Standing on a street corner holding a piece of cardboard hand lettered with PLEASE HELP is profoundly humbling. Fewer donors would park their car to talk to me. Telling them my saga lifted my ego, a small step out of the hole. Some offered a pat on the back or even a hug of my smelly self, a larger step. They knew what I really needed more than $. Their empathy gave me hope. Along with listening that was the greatest gift they gave me.

After slowly working on many financial, housing, mental, and physical problems. I'm stemming the slide by packing my ancient laptop to a WiFi connection to find my real FB friends. Finding amazingly cheap way to have a cell phone again. Finally accepting help where ever it is offered the most difficult step for me.

The next time you see some one holding a hand lettered piece of card board talk to them and listen.
- posted by Jamie Cowen @ 1:10 PM